Couples coaching, online
Online couples coaching for people who’ve already tried the books.
You’ve read the books. You know the lingo. And you’re still having the argument you were having a year ago. Online couples coaching is what I do for exactly this. We meet over video, wherever you are in the US, and we work on the part the books don’t reach: what the two of you have quietly come to believe about each other.
Why the same fight survives everything you throw at it
By the time people reach me, they’ve usually read the books and listened to the podcasts. Some have sat through months of counseling. They can feel the same argument starting and still not stop it. If that’s you, nothing is wrong with how hard you’ve tried. You were working on the wrong layer. The books teach skills, and the stuck part of a marriage is almost never a skills problem. Underneath the fight, each of you is quietly putting the other on trial. That’s the layer this work goes at.
Where couples usually start
Most people arrive with a version of one of these. Find the one that sounds like your house.
- Therapy didn’t fix it
You did the counseling and the same fight is still here.
Read more → - After an affair
It broke more than trust. It made you doubt what was real.
Read more → - Deciding whether to stay
You shouldn’t have to make the biggest call of your life mid-argument.
Read more → - Your partner won’t come in
You can still start on your own.
Read more → - One of you is "the difficult one"
Most advice assumes two calm people.
Read more → - The sex has dried up
It stopped feeling safe to want each other.
Read more →
Who you’d be working with
I trained as a therapist and work as a coach, and I’m upfront about the difference. My background is clinical: a master’s in counseling from La Salle, a master’s in sociology from UC Berkeley, and an eighteen-month internship at a psychotherapy center in Philadelphia. With clients in the US I work as a coach. The work is focused and practical, and it’s about what’s happening now. I don’t diagnose or treat mental health conditions. If what you need is a licensed therapist, I’ll tell you and help you find one. Here’s the honest breakdown: coaching vs therapy.
How online sessions work
Sessions are 60 minutes, over encrypted video. Most couples do a set of twelve across about three months, in four stages, with a written note from me halfway through. Because it’s online, there’s no commute and no “we couldn’t get across town.” You join from your own home, and couples in two different places just join from separate screens. There’s also a shorter five-session version for couples whose real question is whether to stay. I work with couples in all US states.
What starting looks like
Three steps. First you write me a short private note about what’s going on, and you only give contact details at the end. Then we have a free twenty-minute video call, where I’ll tell you straight whether this is a good fit, including if it isn’t. Then, if it fits, we begin.
Being honest with you
This isn’t right for every couple. If there’s violence, threats, or someone controlling where you go, who you see, or your money, safety comes first and I’ll point you to the right help. And sometimes the honest answer is that two people, even after really understanding each other, shouldn’t stay together. I’d rather tell you the truth than sell you a rescue.
The usual questions
Common questions about online couples coaching
Does online couples coaching work as well as in person?
For this work, yes. The stuck part of a marriage isn’t a skills problem you have to be in a room to fix. It’s the harsh conclusion each of you has quietly reached about the other, and that shows up just as clearly over video. Online also removes the two things that quietly kill couples work: the commute after a long day, and the scheduling excuse.
How is a couples coach different from a marriage counselor or therapist?
I trained as a therapist and work as a coach, and I’m upfront about the line. I don’t diagnose or treat mental health conditions, and this isn’t a substitute for a licensed therapist. Coaching is focused, practical work on the fight that keeps coming back and the beliefs underneath it. If what you need is therapy, I’ll tell you in the first conversation and help you find it.
Do we both have to attend? What if my partner won’t?
You can start alone. You’re half of the pattern, and change can begin on your side before your partner is anywhere near ready. Plenty of people start solo and their partner joins later, once they see something actually shifting.
Where in the US do you work?
Anywhere. Sessions are online, so I work with couples across US time zones, East Coast through West Coast. You don’t need to be near a particular city. My hours run in the morning and midday across those zones, and if your overlap doesn’t exist I’ll tell you in the free call rather than waste your first paid hour on it.
What does online couples coaching cost?
Fees are discussed in the free twenty-minute consultation, so you know the full cost before committing to anything. Sessions are 60 minutes, most couples do a set of twelve, and there’s a shorter five-session version for the stay-or-go decision. I don’t take insurance, on purpose, so nothing about your relationship ends up in a medical file. The fuller answer is on what couples coaching costs.
How do we start?
You write me a short private note about what’s going on. Three quick steps, and you only give contact details at the end. I read it myself and reply within two business days. Then a free twenty-minute video call.
Two adjacent pages: what a relationship coach does, and the case for an alternative to marriage counseling.