Couples coaching, for the part after the books

This is coaching, not therapy, plainly and on purpose, and I keep the difference out in the open.

Who this is for

Three kinds of couples usually find their way here. The first has read everything. They own the relationship books, they can describe their own push-pull cycle while they're doing it, and they may have done counseling that helped for a while. Their frustration is specific: understanding the problem hasn't changed it. The second is in fresh pain after an affair or a bad discovery, often with one person leaning toward the door. They're not shopping around; they're trying to figure out if their life together can survive. The third is the high-performer couple, engineers, founders, doctors, dual-career and sharp as tacks, trying to fix the relationship the way they'd fix anything else, and baffled that the fixing keeps making it worse.

What all three have in common is a problem that no amount of information touches: a harsh conclusion each partner has reached about the other, rooted in something they can't accept in themselves. The fights are what that looks like. The work is undoing it. The whole thing is laid out on the how it works page, and in full in the long version.

What you'd be signing up for

The main thing is the full set: twelve weekly 60-minute video sessions over about three months, both of you there from the first session, $2,400, payable all at once or in three payments. It moves through four stages, and about halfway through you get a short written note from me, one page, plainly telling you what I'm seeing and where we are. The same person meets you every single session, thinks about you between them, and tells you the truth, including when the truth is that this isn't what you need.

For couples trying to decide whether to stay together at all, there's a separate, honestly framed option: stay-or-go work, five sessions, $1,100, aimed at a clear answer, not a rescue. And when only one partner is willing, solo work is always available at the same rates, and it's always framed as one person working on themselves and the pattern, never couples work with an empty chair.

The hesitations, out loud

One of you is usually more ready than the other. Being skeptical is fine; flat-out refusing is the only dealbreaker. If your partner's position is "this is expensive and probably nonsense," that's workable: the free 15-minute call exists so a skeptic can look me in the eye and ask hard questions before any money changes hands. If your partner's position is "I won't take part in anything," then start with solo work, honestly, for yourself. And if your own hesitation is "we already tried something like this," read the therapy-didn't-fix-it page first: this work starts exactly where the tools ran out.

Where people start

Costs, scheduling across US time zones, and the rules are all spelled out plainly on how it works. What I won't sell: one-off first sessions to people who just emailed, open-ended weekly sessions with no plan and no end, or a guaranteed outcome.