The practical stuff
How it works
Everything here is stated plainly, because you shouldn't have to book a call just to find out what something costs. Sessions are $200. Most couples do a set of twelve for $2,400. The shorter decision work is $1,100.
What you can sign up for
- The full couples work Twelve weekly 60-minute video sessions over about three months, in four stages, with a written note from me halfway through. Both of you there from the first session. Pay all at once or in three payments of $800.$2,400
- Stay-or-go: the decision work Five sessions for the decision itself, together or on your own. Three honest outcomes, no push toward staying. More here.$1,100
- Single sessions For continuing after the full set, or for solo work. I don't sell one-off first sessions to new inquiries, a cold single session doesn't help either of us.$200
- The first conversation Fifteen minutes, video, free, no strings. I'll tell you honestly whether this is a good fit, including when it isn't.Free
No insurance, on purpose: this is coaching, not health care, and nothing about your relationship ends up in a medical file. You pay by card or bank transfer, billed before each stage.
What the work looks like
Sessions are 60 minutes, weekly, over encrypted video, with both of you there from the first session. About halfway through, you get a short written note from me, one page, in plain English, telling you what I'm seeing and where we are. It's there so the work never turns into a fog of pleasant conversations that go nowhere.
- Sessions 1 to 3 Getting the picture
We figure out what’s really going on: the trait each of you is hardest on in yourself, the way you’ve each armored up because of it, and how that turned into the fight you keep having. We also sort out whether this is a workable difference or something that needs a different kind of help.
- Sessions 3 to 6 Catching it live
We watch for the exact moment a normal difference gets turned into an accusation, and we stop and look at it right when it happens. This is about seeing clearly, not memorizing techniques.
- Sessions 6 to 10 Letting it go
This is where the work turns. You start making peace with the part of yourself you’ve been at war with, which is what’s been fueling the harsh view of your partner. Once that eases, the accusation runs out of gas.
- Sessions 10 to 12 Getting your life back
Now that you’re not treating each other like the enemy, the everyday stuff, time, sex, money, chores, gets easier, and the skills you already have finally work. We also plan for the rough patches ahead.
Scheduling, honestly
My calendar has a shape, and you should know it before you write: sessions run in the morning and midday across US time zones, East Coast through West Coast. If you absolutely need 9pm Pacific, I'm the wrong coach, and I'd rather tell you that here than waste your first fifteen minutes on it. Couples in two different places, one traveling, one home, or an ocean apart, just join from separate screens. If distance is your situation rather than the exception, there is a page for exactly that: coaching for long-distance couples.
Canceling, and one human freebie
Cancel or move a session with 48 hours' notice and it costs nothing. Inside 48 hours, the session gets charged, with one exception: everyone gets one free pass, no questions asked, because life happens to all of us once. If canceling becomes a pattern, we talk about it directly, since avoiding sessions is usually telling us something about the work, not the calendar.
Refunds
If you stop early, you get the unused sessions back, minus the ones you've already had at the single-session rate. If I decide the work isn't helping you, I'll say so before you do, and the same refund applies. Nobody's held hostage by a package.
Privacy
What you tell me stays with me. I keep brief notes, minimal and factual, stored encrypted, and I don't record sessions. Your first note is read by me, not a team, and it's never shared or used for marketing. Because this is coaching and not licensed health care, no insurance company, diagnosis, or medical record is ever involved, and one honest tradeoff: it also doesn't carry the legal confidentiality protection that therapy does. I'd rather say that plainly. The full policy is on the privacy page.
What I can and can't help with
I trained as a therapist and I work as a coach: I don't diagnose or treat mental health conditions, and this isn't a replacement for a licensed therapist. If something clinical comes up in our work, depression, trauma, addiction, a real emergency, I'll say so quickly and kindly and help you find the right licensed help, and if the couples work should pause while you deal with it, I'll say that too. The full comparison is on coaching vs therapy. And if you're in crisis right now: in the US, call or text 988. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.
How to start
One way in: write to me. Three short steps, contact info at the end, read by me, answered within two business days. Then the free fifteen minutes, then, if it fits, we begin.